Healing internally

Before I share my observation on some diseases and the possible causes due to karma/emotions/internal problems in the next few posts, I have to address the viewpoint of Ms. Louise Hay again. All the body problems and diseases are caused by mental or internal reason. I am inpired to write a few posts regarding to this because of my friend Simon from New Zealand. He's a medical doctor. I actually met him half year ago but never got a real chance to talk to him until last week. (And, yeah, I always rememered when he first smiled at me during my first Avatar course. My friend said I was blushed all over in 1 second at that moment.) Ok, so, we both took Avatar courses. This time, we were in the Wizard course. My roommate and I had this party one night and he came (thanks God). He shared his viewpoint that it's much more important to heal someone internally than externally. I was...so...not going to find to word to describe how I felt at that instant. Yes, the solution is to heal your heart. When I was in the middle school, I was diagnozed that an essential chemical for nerotransmitting was missing in my brain. Hell no, I don't know the name of that super long Latin word. There was no cure. I had to be fed with folic acid and one other whatever stuff for the rest of my life. The symptoms are similar to hyperthyrodism's. Not until recently, I finally realized these symptoms came from the anger I created since my 4th grade. Yes, there was something I considered bad happening at that time. I was keep a secret for my mom from my dad, and had become a liar in the family ever since. Unfortunately, my god/budda/karma given personalities placed huge judgements on my behavior. I started to get angry at myself and withhold it in me. My hands are always trembling severely. I felt losing control of my life and myself for being a liar. My body showed the same. The trembling was uncontrollable. After all the metahpysical courses, training, and, of course, Avatar courses, I dealt with the pain and hurt in the past. My symptoms got so much better. As always, I would say you can change your own fate. Karma can be released if you have intents strong enough. To support yourself, use whatever tools you can to keep your intent strong. Crystals, aura-soma, meditations, and more...Avatar courses are very powerful in this sense. The point is that you decide to love yourself and realize the past is not worth being withhold. Your life will have the same patterns if you keep strangling in your past or karma or things not happening at this moment. You will meet the same players who ruin your love life. You will meet boyfriends who are like your biggest karma (that's my mom, in my example. Once I told my ex that why should I hide ~7000miles away from my real mom and be with another with a dick. Gees!) We may not be able to realize how stong we can be to change the situation to obtain the life we deserve in the past. But, don't let it become an excuse to stop you from a better life since today...Love yourself. Everyone deserves it.