4 posts tagged “avatar”
This month, I have been “forced” to deal with my past intensively. The first reason is that I took the Reiki class. After the 1st level of Reiki class, I have to experience a 21-day cleaning process. The process may bring out some past experience from the past. For me, oh boy, it was hell of a ride. The thing is, when you re-experience your past, do you have a different viewpoint now? Or, you are still stuck in the hatreds, anger, and all other negative emotions and torturing yourself for the second time? Another thing is that are you really having a new viewpoint or do you just tell yourself that you have a new viewpoint? I have heard too many people said the following:
“I thought I have forgiven him/her, but I didn’t.”
“I can understand why he/she did it. I will just let it go.”
“It’s in the past. I will move on.”
I have seen too many people that think they have let go but they still carry those burdens for the rest of their life. Why? It’s your brain that is tricking you. You think it’s reasonable to do so. Did you 100% feel that it’s the right way to do and you have determined to do it? It’s like the queen in Snow White. She kept asked the magic mirror if she’s the prettiest one among them all. If she believed she’s the prettiest one when the mirror said so, why would she keep asking? No, she’d never believed in it. She knew by heart she’s not the prettiest one. (I have to say this may not be the most clear example.) Ok, in other words, there’s something underneath your forgiveness or moving-on speech that reflects what you really feel. You may feel angry. You may feel sad. You may feel like a victim. You may feel like deserted. It that something to trigger that heartache when you see your ex mucking his/her significant other. You think you have let it go, but you haven’t. Not at all…Ok, so…What can we do? (I really want say Avatar mini courses are extremely effective but you will “think” I am just too fond of it. Try it once! Then, you can tell me if that’s the truth.) One simple method to help is to breathe diaphragmatically (conscious breathing/ belly breathing). Then, when you give the forgiveness speech, try to see if you feel really lighter after saying that. Or, you are still stuck in some negative emotions. It’s not a good sign. You should be able to feel delighted, light, or have that smile on your face unconsciously. It is because you really release the negative emotions/energy from your body. You are not withholding it anymore. It’s not like, “yeah, you are just saying it.” You said that about other people, right? “Yeah, he’s just saying it.” How about you? Are you just saying it? Do you really know it by heart? Feel it. Don’t think about it…Try it!
Law of Attraction is H.O.T. these days. Yeah, I believe in it, too. Anyway…I just read some terrible news online. It’s related to several deaths and I don’t wanna mention the content. The point is, “what attracts danger to you?” Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s you who attract the danger to you! I know, I know…You may be pissed by now and saying why you would attract danger to yourself. It doesn’t make sense, you may argue with me. No, gals and pals, your brain is not saying that you want danger, damage, or harm. It’s the fear generated from your heart to attract them. You have fear because you think the environment or the subjects are dangerous. Let me give you an example. How many of you have been to some National Parks with bear habitant? Ok, never mind. If you are a good boy or girl and visiting the visitor center upon arrival, you will be taught how to deal with these non-huggable creatures in real life. When you see a bear, first rule is that DON’T RUN. Please, please don’t make yourself look like a prey. What will make you look like a prey? No, no…it’s not your yummy look. It’s the fear of being eaten. Now, it’s starting to make sense, right? When you bump into the bear, you have to first remain calm. Yes, darling, you have to first remain calm. Animals have intents to hunt. Human beings are no exception. What would criminals to hunt for? Victims! What makes someone to look like a victim? Fear, duh~ You are afraid of being harmed. Yes, it’s the other side of the Law of Attraction that you wouldn’t want to pay attention to. Unfortunately, it’s there unless you overcome it. So, first thing to remember is to remain calm. How to do that? Well, if a deep breathe doesn’t help, try some quick affirmations. You have to read it like you really believe in it (if you are unable to manage that, please try mini course #6 Belief Management of Avatar. Google it!) Some examples are:
- I am courageous.
- I am always safe.
- I am calm and love myself.
Remember, only you can decide and create your life. It’s your responsibility, not others. Love yourself. May we have an enlightened planetary civilization soon.
Ok...so...For the aura-soma therapy, 4 bottles have to be chosen. When a person applies them to the body, he/she starts with the second one he/she chooses, then the third, then the fourth, finally the first one. After that terrifying #27 divorce bottle (my second one), I was happy to move on. However, when I looked into the information on #55, I was like WHAT THE HELL!!??? The main theme is "To Develop Sacrificial Love". I was cursing somebody I-don't-know whom when I saw the words. #*)$(&(*^&*(&*(@@_)($#$%!!! God! I need to sacrifice more? Jesus Chris Mother Theresa! Anyway, I still applied it. I used 80% of it before I went to Avatar Wizard Course 2008. In the course, I suddenly realized how easeful and delightful one person can be with unconditional love. It's still somehow hard for me to achieve 100% now though. I was listening to Harry Palmer's talk in the course one day. He mentioned the force of pushing and pulling. Thanks to that alien (my belief) Newton, we know whenever we are apply force on one thing, there must be some counterforce existing. So, it applies. If you do put desire on something, there must be some resistence. My realization was that if someone is with conditional love, this person suffers from a belief of insufficient love. Ok...in a relationship...If you are asking for return, you must feel that you are not loved enough. Otherwise, why are you asking for something in return? However, when you feel you don't have enough love in you, how can you give love to others? You already feel scarcity. You yell at others saying you've been giving out so much. Ohh boy, you really didn't give much since you have fear of not having enough already. So, yeah...I have to say that giving without asking anything back is hard. I felt dizzy when I first did that. Thanks God I have rose quartz and other crystals with love energy to fill my heart chakra. Thanks to our mother earth! Praise her! Of course, the pink Pomander helped, too! Use whatever you can get to help you. Again, I can't say this too many times. Ok, back to the force...more pushing, more pulling. Both sides will suffer from the force of confrontation. One side has to let go first. It's hard. And, I am still learning...After the course, I finished the bottle in 3 days. I was so ready to move on to my next bottle. Wait, what's the affirmation of #92? Ohh, you have to chant the affirmation when applying aura-soma on your body and believe in it to make it work. "Before enlightment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightment: chop wood, carry water"!!??? WTH??? Sorry, Ms. Vicky Wall, I cursed again. I know aura-soma is good. My bad! I haven't and any insight on applying #92 yet. Hope I will get it soon. And, Gosh...my first bottle is even worse...don't even want to think about it now...Let me just hypnotize myself now...Applying them all...it's for my own good and cleaning up...Applying them all....(feeling like cursing again...better stop here...)
Since the day I decided to write something about Alzheimer disease, my mind and body are resisting to the outermost limit. Whenever I opened my blog and tried to write something about it, I felt so exhausted and I needed to head to bed. Today, after three mugs of tea straight, I finally started to write about it. God damn, it is because my mom has Alzheimer. And, the my mom has always played THE most important role of my karma. Ok, so...what may cause my mom's Alzheimer? Any disease comes internally, again. According to my dear Louise Hay, Alzheimer caused by anger toward the external environement and feeling effortless in real life situations. Personally, I feel there is more. The parients refuse to face the past and the reality. Therefore, they choose to escape from the pain facing the mistakes in the past or pain in the present and to adandon their memories and start to isolate them from the environmental signals. The hurt and pain created by themselve due to the stimuli from the outside world are too heavy for them to handle. (Thanks to Darjeeling so I can continue...urrr). Now, the real case...My mom started to have significant memory lost about 5 years ago. Ok, what happened 5 years ago? My dad planed to retired. My mom has always been financially insecured and tried to force me to stand by her side to persuade my dad not to retire. I was so FxxKing pissed off at that time. I need to mention something first. When I was in the 2nd grade, my mom put our family in great debt and lied to my dad. Unfortunately (fortunately?), I knew the truth when I happened to hear my mom's phone conversation one day. Once my mom found out I knew the truth, she had been forcing me to lie to my dad with her, or, she said, "if I and your dad got a divorce, you can't gain any good from it. You understand me?". I was young and fearful. I lied. One lie after another...I had to cover one lie with 10 more lies...You do the math...Then, I became a liar for the rest of my life until I started Avatar. That's another story though. Back to 5 years ago...After a few phone conversation, I finally yelled at my mom, "dad has been working to his dead body for his whole life. If you hadn't put us in such a big debt 20 years ago, dad can even retire ealier as he wishes!" My mom literally screamed at me like some insane person with such a big rage, then hang up the phone. (Another big sip of my Darjeeling) I don't know if I did the right thing at that time. Should I stand by my mom's side or my dad's? I will never know. However, bad things did start to happen. We never know the exact time point when my mom started to have this serious memory loss and lost the ability to learn new things (she used to be THE smart ass among her colleagues). I tried to trace back and I believe the retirement argument was the starting point. I hadn't been forgiving myself on this for a while. Ok, so, my mom felt powerless over my dad and I no more unlike she used to. Yeah, she was the queen of our family, no doubt. No one can offend her or she would collapse right in front of us. Due to the curse/blessing of love, my dad and I learned to let her do whatever she preferred to avoid the conflicts. Trust me, you don't want her to collapse. One time, she literally said the following to me, "I curse you that you will be tortured to death by your own future child ever after." Yeah...Horrifying...I had trying to be an obidient daughter. I came home right after school. I was the top-one in both elementary and middle school. I went to the best high school and university in my country...Anyway...Ok...However, this time, she lost control over the situation. How bad of her resistence to face the reality? She kept claiming that she had no memory lost at all. However, her friends had been annoyed by her memory lost problem. She would accuse others that they took her stuff and it's not that fact. Fortunately, she had great friends and all they do was trying to support her. They tried to sneak back from my mom and talked to me about this. Trust me. My mom didn't even give them the slight chance to talk to me without her monitoring. Ok, so I got into a lot of fights with my mom and tried to persuade her to see the doctor. Come on. She didn't want to face the reality. How can she agree to see a doctor to know the crucial truth? One day, I collapsed in front of her and beg her to see the doctor. She still ignored. My dad just told me to go back to US and leave this behind. "I will take care of her," he said. I cried even louder. I didn't know if it's the sorrow or the love of my dad hit me that hard. Finally, one day, one of my mom's friend tricked her into a clinic and forced her to have the examination. Now, she's taking medicines. After the diagnose, I tried to talk about Alzheimer with my mom but she has been avoiding this conversation. She would just yelled bye bye to me and hang up the phone. I had been asked her to read the affirmation from Louise Hay's book but she chose to discard it. One day, I decided to record a video clip, emailed it to my dad, and asked my dad to force my mom to watch it. I said to my mom that she has been strong. And, no matter what happens, I will support her. After that, she became less intense when we mentioned Alzheimer. Not much progress but it's progress. (Now, I ran out of Darjeeling. I am panic.) Ok...so...what are the possible non-medical help to ease the Alzheimer symptoms in my opinion? First, refer to Louise Hay's " Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them ", read the affirmation related to such disease, and truly believe in them. Crystal healing is another way to go. It lets go your past and will guide you to find the forgiveness to yourself. For me, I will work my mom and take her to the Avatar course. Yeah, I will face my karma eventually, FINALLY! I will fly back home and work on my mom for her to take the course in late March. God Damn it! I was planning to see Aurora Australis in New Zealand at that time. However, "THANKS to" my Mandala Oracle two days ago (I was cursing when I read the card I chose), I changed my mind due to the affirmation, "Love is a choice from moment to moment." Do I want to love selflessly? I admit I want to go to NZ because I have some other reasons. Do I want to chase after my dream or compromise for my own family? I guess the answer has been clear...It's my mom. I can never hate her. I can only love her...
