3 posts tagged “louise hay”

Ok, every one in the US knows that Spring equals allergy season. Yeah, if you don’t know, the endless TV allergy med commercials would ensure you know that. I didn’t really pay attention to that since I don’t suffer from much allergy since Avatar courses. Yesterday, I was iming my dear girl friend and suddenly realized this may connect to group conscience again. Spring is the season of renewal and rebirth energy. No one on earth can avoid indulging in this energy. What happens if you resist it? You sneeze, you tear, and you cough. All physical conditions result from mental conditions. If you have a running nose, you just have some resistance. If you can’t stop your teary eyes, it indicates that you don’t want to face the reality that you are currently powerless to create your renewal in your time. Therefore, your body, which is reflecting the thoughts that you don’t want to face your hopeless life (in your own definition), starts some mechanism to blur your eyes so that you don’t have to see the world clearly.  If you cough, as usual, you can’t say what you always want to say and you desire others’ attention on you. People, don’t blame the increasing pollen count in the air. Pollen carries a lot of rebirth and renewal energy. Of course, it is the key for the second generation. Let’s just sit down and try to relax. Stop saying that once Spring is over, the hay fever will disappear. It’s time for you to examine what you have desired to change. If you really can’t make a revolution, try first to appreciate what you have with some affirmations. You can find some good affirmations from Louise Hay’s cards and books. Read it until you believe in it. Remember, it’s your body. You are your body’s master. Only you can control it. Good luck!

Since the day I decided to write something about Alzheimer disease, my mind and body are resisting to the outermost limit. Whenever I opened my blog and tried to write something about it, I felt so exhausted and I needed to head to bed. Today, after three mugs of tea straight, I finally started to write about it. God damn, it is because my mom has Alzheimer. And, the my mom has always played THE most important role of my karma. Ok, so...what may cause my mom's Alzheimer? Any disease comes internally, again. According to my dear Louise Hay, Alzheimer caused by anger toward the external environement and feeling effortless in real life situations. Personally, I feel there is more. The parients refuse to face the past and the reality. Therefore, they choose to escape from the pain facing the mistakes in the past or pain in the present and to adandon their memories and start to isolate them from the environmental signals. The hurt and pain created by themselve due to the stimuli from the outside world are too heavy for them to handle. (Thanks to Darjeeling so I can continue...urrr). Now, the real case...My mom started to have significant memory lost about 5 years ago. Ok, what happened 5 years ago? My dad planed to retired. My mom has always been financially insecured and tried to force me to stand by her side to persuade my dad not to retire. I was so FxxKing pissed off at that time. I need to mention something first. When I was in the 2nd grade, my mom  put our family in great debt and lied to my dad. Unfortunately (fortunately?), I knew the truth when I happened to hear my mom's phone conversation one day. Once my mom found out I knew the truth, she had been forcing me to lie to my dad with her, or, she said, "if I and your dad got a divorce, you can't gain any good from it. You understand me?". I was young and fearful. I lied. One lie after another...I had to cover one lie with 10 more lies...You do the math...Then, I became a liar for the rest of my life until I started Avatar. That's another story though. Back to 5 years ago...After a few phone conversation, I finally yelled at my mom, "dad has been working to his dead body for his whole life. If you hadn't put us in such a big debt 20 years ago, dad can even retire ealier as he wishes!" My mom literally screamed at me like some insane person with such a big rage, then hang up the phone. (Another big sip of my Darjeeling) I don't know if I did the right thing at that time. Should I stand by my mom's side or my dad's? I will never know. However, bad things did start to happen. We never know the exact time point when my mom started to have this serious memory loss and lost the ability to learn new things (she used to be THE smart ass among her colleagues). I tried to trace back and I believe the retirement argument was the starting point. I hadn't been forgiving myself on this for a while. Ok, so, my mom felt powerless over my dad and I  no more unlike she used to. Yeah, she was the queen of our family, no doubt. No one can offend her or she would collapse right in front of us. Due to the curse/blessing of love, my dad and I learned to let her do whatever she preferred to avoid the conflicts. Trust me, you don't want her to collapse. One time, she literally said the following to me, "I curse you that you will be tortured to death by your own future child ever after." Yeah...Horrifying...I had trying to be an obidient daughter. I came home right after school. I was the top-one in both elementary and middle school. I went to the best high school and university in my country...Anyway...Ok...However, this time, she lost control over the situation. How bad of her resistence to face the reality? She kept claiming that she had no memory lost at all. However, her friends had been annoyed by her memory lost problem. She would accuse others that they took her stuff and it's not that fact. Fortunately, she had great friends and all they do was trying to support her. They tried to sneak back from my mom and talked to me about this. Trust me. My mom didn't even give them the slight chance to talk to me without her monitoring. Ok, so I got into a lot of fights with my mom and tried to persuade her to see the doctor. Come on. She didn't want to face the reality. How can she agree to see a doctor to know the crucial truth? One day, I collapsed in front of her and beg her to see the doctor. She still ignored. My dad just told me to go back to US and leave this behind. "I will take care of her," he said. I cried even louder. I didn't know if it's the sorrow or the love of my dad hit me that hard. Finally, one day, one of my mom's friend tricked her into a clinic and forced her to have the examination. Now, she's taking medicines. After the diagnose, I tried to talk about Alzheimer with my mom but she has been avoiding this conversation. She would just yelled bye bye to me and hang up the phone.  I had been asked her to read the affirmation from Louise Hay's book but she chose to discard it. One day, I decided to record a video clip, emailed it to my dad, and asked my dad to force my mom to watch it. I said to my mom that she has been strong. And, no matter what happens, I will support her. After that, she became less intense when we mentioned Alzheimer. Not much progress but it's progress. (Now, I ran out of Darjeeling. I am panic.) Ok...so...what are the possible non-medical help to ease the Alzheimer symptoms in my opinion? First, refer to Louise Hay's " Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them ", read the affirmation related to such disease, and truly believe in them. Crystal healing is another way to go. It lets go your past and will guide you to find the forgiveness to yourself. For me, I will work my mom and take her to the Avatar course. Yeah, I will face my karma eventually, FINALLY! I will fly back home and work on my mom for her to take the course in late March. God Damn it! I was planning to see Aurora Australis in New Zealand at that time. However, "THANKS to" my Mandala Oracle two days ago (I was cursing when I read the card I chose), I changed my mind due to the affirmation, "Love is a choice from moment to moment." Do I want to love selflessly? I admit I want to go to NZ because I have some other reasons. Do I want to chase after my dream or compromise for my own family? I guess the answer has been clear...It's my mom. I can never hate her. I can only love her...

Before I share my observation on some diseases and the possible causes due to karma/emotions/internal problems in the next few posts, I have to address the viewpoint of Ms. Louise Hay again. All the body problems and diseases are caused by mental or internal reason. I am inpired to write a few posts regarding to this because of my friend Simon from New Zealand. He's a medical doctor. I actually met him half year ago but never got a real chance to talk to him until last week. (And, yeah, I always rememered when he first smiled at me during my first Avatar course. My friend said I was blushed all over in 1 second at that moment.) Ok, so, we both took Avatar courses. This time, we were in the Wizard course. My roommate and I had this party one night and he came (thanks God). He shared his viewpoint that it's much more important to heal someone internally than externally. I was...so...not going to find to word to describe how I felt at that instant. Yes, the solution is to heal your heart. When I was in the middle school, I was diagnozed that an essential chemical for nerotransmitting was missing in my brain. Hell no, I don't know the name of that super long Latin word. There was no cure. I had to be fed with folic acid and one other whatever stuff for the rest of my life. The symptoms are similar to hyperthyrodism's. Not until recently, I finally realized these symptoms came from the anger I created since my 4th grade. Yes, there was something I considered bad happening at that time. I was keep a secret for my mom from my dad, and had become a liar in the family ever since. Unfortunately, my god/budda/karma given personalities placed huge judgements on my behavior. I started to get angry at myself and withhold it in me. My hands are always trembling severely. I felt losing control of my life and myself for being a liar. My body showed the same. The trembling was uncontrollable. After all the metahpysical courses, training, and, of course, Avatar courses, I dealt with the pain and hurt in the past. My symptoms got so much better. As always, I would say you can change your own fate. Karma can be released if you have intents strong enough. To support yourself, use whatever tools you can to keep your intent strong. Crystals, aura-soma, meditations, and more...Avatar courses are very powerful in this sense. The point is that you decide to love yourself and realize the past is not worth being withhold. Your life will have the same patterns if you keep strangling in your past or karma or things not happening at this moment. You will meet the same players who ruin your love life. You will meet boyfriends who are like your biggest karma (that's my mom, in my example. Once I told my ex that why should I hide ~7000miles away from my real mom and be with another with a dick. Gees!) We may not be able to realize how stong we can be to change the situation to obtain the life we deserve in the past. But, don't let it become an excuse to stop you from a better life since today...Love yourself. Everyone deserves it.